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It’s 7.14pm on a cold Tuesday night and after a long day at work I’ve just settled down at home to watch the fabulous show Ex on the Beach… errr I mean a testosterone soaked episode of Bear Grylls fighting a lion with nothing more than a makeshift spear made out of bat droppings… and then it happens…

I get that phone call.

That phone call that can frustrate even the most sedate person. Apparently I can receive £5,000 for the accident that I never had.

“Which accident?” I ask inquisitively